Family systems, what are they? As a whole, most families work together as individuals to help each other in order for the family to function as a collective unit. Within the family, there are often many subunits consisting of one or more family members (usually more than one). Around each subgroup there can be different kinds of boundaries, ranging from open boundaries, like loose friendships, to more solid, "we are not friends," boundaries. These boundaries define different systems within the family.
Also, we learned that often it is the way people define us that influences us to behave in certain ways, and that how we behave influences how others will define us. A influences B and B influences A--but A doesn't cause B nor does B cause A. In the musical, "My Fair Lady," Eliza Doolittle explains this concept when she informs Henry Higgins that, "the difference between a lady and a flower girl is not how she behaves, but how she is treated," so often this is the case within families as well.
How we treat each other matters, whether the fruits of our success come immediately or with lots of patience, we need to treat our families with love and respect.
Saturday, July 20, 2013
The Changing World
Well I have not been blogging regularly like I had originally planned but I will share some things that I have learned this past semester that have been very insightful for me.
We live in a world that is constantly changing, some of the biggest changes that are being made today are happening in the formation of families. We discussed some of the recent trends in America, some of which were: more people are living alone, more people are marrying at a later age, the birth rate is decreasing yet there's more and more women having babies out of wedlock, among several other things.
As people decide to live alone for a long period of time, whether they have been through a divorce or they just never married, they start to develop there own patterns and ways of doing things. This can make adjustments hard if ever the person decides to marry, (or re-marry,) in fact, getting married might not seem so appealing when people who are used to living alone consider the amount of change, selfless effort, and sharing that goes into a marriage.
The age at which most people in America get married for their first time now-a-days is between 26-28 years old. This is an older age, not just when we look at other countries, but also when you look back through history.
I believe that these two trends lead into the third, which is that 39.5% of babies born in the United States are born to non-married parents. That's basically saying that almost every other child born in America is not born to married parents.
I am no expert, but the picture I've drawn is this: that instead of being traditional, many people want to live their individual lives first before adding a second person to the picture, sometimes they'll even bring kids into their lives before a spouse. Call me sheltered, but coming from parents who were committed to each other and decided to get married first and then start a family soon after has brought so much respect, strength, and fidelity to their marriage--as well as to the structure of my family. My parents have been married for almost 30 years and I for one am un-expressively grateful that I got to be raised by a mom and dad who loved me, but who loved each other more, and who were willing to bring me, and the rest of my siblings into their family.
We live in a world that is constantly changing, some of the biggest changes that are being made today are happening in the formation of families. We discussed some of the recent trends in America, some of which were: more people are living alone, more people are marrying at a later age, the birth rate is decreasing yet there's more and more women having babies out of wedlock, among several other things.
As people decide to live alone for a long period of time, whether they have been through a divorce or they just never married, they start to develop there own patterns and ways of doing things. This can make adjustments hard if ever the person decides to marry, (or re-marry,) in fact, getting married might not seem so appealing when people who are used to living alone consider the amount of change, selfless effort, and sharing that goes into a marriage.
The age at which most people in America get married for their first time now-a-days is between 26-28 years old. This is an older age, not just when we look at other countries, but also when you look back through history.
I believe that these two trends lead into the third, which is that 39.5% of babies born in the United States are born to non-married parents. That's basically saying that almost every other child born in America is not born to married parents.
I am no expert, but the picture I've drawn is this: that instead of being traditional, many people want to live their individual lives first before adding a second person to the picture, sometimes they'll even bring kids into their lives before a spouse. Call me sheltered, but coming from parents who were committed to each other and decided to get married first and then start a family soon after has brought so much respect, strength, and fidelity to their marriage--as well as to the structure of my family. My parents have been married for almost 30 years and I for one am un-expressively grateful that I got to be raised by a mom and dad who loved me, but who loved each other more, and who were willing to bring me, and the rest of my siblings into their family.
Thursday, May 2, 2013
Purpose
I'm starting this blog to share my thoughts on families and why they're important to me. I'm taking a Family Relations course and probably will be sharing things discussed in my class, as well as insights I gained, my opinions, stories, and beliefs on families.
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